Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
