He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
