Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
