my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
