I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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