when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
