woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
