I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
