can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
