My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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