he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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