Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
