He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
