piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
