dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he thought i was a dude.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
3 2 1 whiskey
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
