you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
