Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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