There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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