You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that's an acceptable place to lick
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
