Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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