It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
