Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
