I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
