The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
