If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
