Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
