She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
