Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
my poor anus
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
