Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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