I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
