put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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