Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
