this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
