There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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