pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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