i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
