it's not cheating when I paid for it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
