While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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