found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
