I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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