Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
