whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
