Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
