Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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