so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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