Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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