Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
