people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
