I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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