I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
