I'm passing your future prison.
The beer is more important than you right now.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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