and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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