she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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