you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
